I could forever be a kid,
Who had the right to be pampered.
Who would never feel bad about it.
I could never be an adult,
Who had her pride to not seek others' help,
Unless she really needed it.
I wouldn't grow older,
As being it makes me feel,
Troubling my parents isn't a right thing to do.
I had not gone abroad.
Spending years in a foreign land,
Thousand miles away from the family had me kept all my struggles inside.
Because the sight of them being worry while not being able to be by my side,
Would only double my pain.
My face could show how scared I am.
But the macho side of me just won't allow.
Barely understood the things that have been messing with my body,
I hate Biology even more.
My parents would ask me twice when I said no to their first.
It might take a few more before a yes comes out from my mouth.
But just keep asking.
I could be more mature.
Being a childish me, I am now,
My heart never matches with my mind.
What more my body. Frustrating.
And with that,
I ended up being alone in the ward, on the day before Ramadhan.
Writing my heart out,
on a nobody-read blog.
May Allah ease my feeling.
Few more hours before going in the operation theatre. Allah is with those who remember Him. Hopefully the fasting doctors are more than good to go.
Hospital Sungai Buloh.